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My therapist told
me
Denial is not just a river in Egypt.
I told him
'Psychotherapist' spells
'Psycho-the-Rapist.'
He told me I was in
denial
of not being very funny.
If you don't bash
in a wall
every time you stub your toe
you're in denial of your anger.
If you can't get
laid
you're in denial of your fear of commitment.
If you're sober
you're in denial of your wild side.
If you're not
in
AA, NA, CA, ALANON, PWLTM, MAMBLA, PTL, PTA
you're in denial of half the alphabet.
Right now I'm in
denial
of paying 50 bucks an hour
for the same pedantic tripe
Captain Kangaroo
used to tell me for free.
We are all in
denial.
If you mow your
lawn
you're in denial of nature's power.
If you are a
vegetarian
you're in denial of you're incisors.
If you drive a Geo
Metro
you're in denial of man's need to destroy the
air.
In fact, if you own
a car at all
you're in denial of your feet.
If you don't own a
gun
you're in denial of man's innate desire
to kill each other with large phallic objects.
If you don't think
I'm the sexiest man alive
you're in denial of your true sexual feelings.
If you don't call
all women but your mamma
bitches, whores, sluts, then
you're in denial of your homosexuality.
If you're Richard
Simmons
you're in denial of stupidity.
If you're fat
you're in denial of Jenny Craig.
If you're
skinny
you're in denial of your supplication to
cheesecake.
If you like Led
Zeppelin
you're in denial that the 70s are over.
If you don't
subject yourself to endless hours
of some med school drop-out
babbling on about your need to take a swim in the lake,
or your need to find you're inner child,
and give yourself a great big hug,
then you're in denial of the fact you
want to find your inner child
and beat it's whiney little ass.
If you -- Oh,
sorry.
Time's up.
See you again next week.
Copyright EPB, 1997
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